If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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