If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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