she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can you bring me the toilet please
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
