It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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