You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
