he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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