oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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