fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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