Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
