To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
