Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
