Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
