Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
