She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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