Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
