Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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