I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
