Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
