I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
