I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
