she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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