If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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