Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
