Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
