I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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