i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
last night I used snow as a chaser
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
