Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
two words: eviction party
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
