"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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