the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
