Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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