so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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