you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Randomize
