Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
