You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
