I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
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