i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
