Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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