If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No subtext here. People are naked.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
