all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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