Sry I called you an 8
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
