i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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