Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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