took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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