Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
