i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
