If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
