I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
