doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
