lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
