he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
