heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
